Why I am in My Selfish Era and That’s Okay
So I am about to be thirty. I have a lot of feelings about this. The past decade has been a roller coaster of times where I felt stability and happiness, and other times where it was a total dumpster-fire. I was always told that I had to go to the party or go to the event that I was absolutely dreading. I never fully understood it because if your girl wants to sit in darkness and read a book, that is what she wants to do.
It wasn’t until I was sitting across from a therapist in my early twenties that I realized this concept was created it wasn’t a part of the natural order. We all have an inherent need to put ourselves first, and that’s okay. So in my adulthood, as I became more independent and found my identity, I decided that if something didn’t serve me, if it worked against me, I wasn’t going to do it.
So today I am writing to share the reasons why it is okay to be selfish:
1. Self-Care is Not Selfish
Self-care is often misunderstood as indulgence or neglect of others. In reality, self-care is about ensuring you are mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy. By prioritizing your needs, you can recharge and better support those around you. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself allows you to be the best version of yourself for others.
2. Personal Growth Requires Focus
Your selfish era is a time to invest in your personal development. This might mean pursuing education, hobbies, or career opportunities that you've always wanted. It’s a chance to explore your interests and passions without feeling guilty. Personal growth demands focus and dedication, which sometimes means saying no to others so you can say yes to yourself.
3. Setting Boundaries is Healthy
Learning to set boundaries is a crucial part of personal development. Being in your selfish era helps you establish and maintain boundaries that protect your time and energy. This practice can prevent burnout and resentment. It teaches others to respect your limits and encourages a healthier, more balanced approach to relationships.
4. Enhancing Self-Awareness
Spending time focusing on yourself helps you understand your strengths, weaknesses, and desires more clearly. This self-awareness can lead to better decision-making and a more authentic life. When you know yourself better, you can make choices that align with your true values and goals, rather than succumbing to external pressures.
5. Improving Mental Health
Constantly putting others first can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. Your selfish era is a chance to prioritize your mental health. This could involve therapy, meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax and unwind. Prioritizing your mental health makes you more resilient and better equipped to handle life's challenges.
6. Building Confidence
When you take control of your life and make decisions that benefit you, your confidence naturally grows. Achieving personal goals, no matter how small, boosts your self-esteem. Confidence gained during your selfish era empowers you to face future challenges with a stronger, more assured mindset.
7. Inspiring Others
Embracing your selfish era can inspire those around you to do the same. When others see you prioritizing your well-being and thriving as a result, they may feel empowered to take steps toward their own self-care and personal growth. Your example can create a ripple effect, promoting a healthier, more balanced approach to life in your community.
